It’s the middle of the year-The second half of the year! And I am
very disturbed. My year to date review
was not good. I am trailing on all my
goals. It is that bad. The year has been moody, peppered with low levels of
self-confidence and a lot of indecisiveness.
Well, blame it on the sun; and blame I have poured out (Onto
others mainly).
My friends say I have complained a lot. But that doesn’t change a thing. Truth be told, my performances have been below per. I am behind on all the projects I set out to accomplish at the start of the year. The Battle is raging on. And I am confined in a sinkhole of so many negativities. The few positives appear only as small pockets of resistance in the grand scheme of things.
I am restless. Adrenaline is way up. My eyes are deep red. Facials
spell danger. My sub conscience is killing me! “Answer me!” She won’t stop
screaming. My conscience can’t come up with answers. He instead, opts to answer
with more questions. An eye for an eye; these two have agreed to go hobble
about. The result is an ache, emanating from the centre of my brain. My body doesn’t like it.
I turn to my heart. There I hope to find spiritual solace! “Look
who is home for dinner!” she starts out. “We had given up on you!” “You honour us,
with this your visit!” I have not the words. I dint know her to be so
sarcastic! For long I have ignored her soft voice! Except when I was troubled!
And I am troubled! “We thought so!”
I can’t take this anymore!
My state of being is despondent. “I wouldn’t go there!” she whispers
tenderly, as her colleague (my sub conscience) flashes images that appear far
worse, compared to my state of being. “You
are far away from being devastated. “
Think! He shoots back. “That is your role! what did I do? What
didn’t I do? Tell me, what did I do wrong? What is their relationship with my
current predicament! What can I do better! Stop whining about things I already
know. And give me options to think about?
Relax you two! The spiritual interjects! Fighting won’t fix
anything! Take a minute and breathe. We
need to work on this together, as a unit! We are one and can only go forward as
such!
Boma Moses
Comments
Post a Comment